How To Narrow Down Your Wedding Guest List

Published:
April 17, 2024
Updated:
September 23, 2024
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Having a micro wedding offers so many benefits, but often, one thing keeps couples from actually moving forward with an intimate celebration—the guest list. It can feel gut-wrenching to make decisions about who not to invite, not to mention the drama that can come along with it, so we’ve created this simple step-by-step process to help make the yes/no a lot clearer.

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we initially thought we’d have a large one, but once we assessed the cost, we quickly realized a smaller one would be a better fit for our vision. These are the steps we took to narrow down our guest list from over 150 guests to 50.

The Importance of Creating Your Guest List Early

We recommend creating your guest list as one of the foundational elements to planning your micro wedding. It’s easy to put this task off, especially when you’re consumed with dreaming about how your special day will come together, not to mention the stress that can come along with it. But I assure you that getting this out of the way early will set you up for planning success and also help prevent the uncomfortable situation of having to go back to someone you thought you’d invite and tell them they aren’t.

Ideas to Make Your Guest List Smaller

Adults Only

Having an adults-only party is one of the quickest ways to reduce your the number of people you invite to your micro wedding. There are added benefits to this as well: many parents will enjoy the opportunity to socialize with friends and family without having the distraction of their kiddos, and it reduces logistics and planning activities that you might have had to otherwise consider if children were going to be present at your event

Limit Plus-Ones

Keeping plus-ones to significant others only is another great way to narrow down your list. If it’s unclear whether or not a plus-one should be offered for a specific guest, you can put the potential guest through the process outlined below.

Cut Legacy Invites

When my husband and I were working through our invite list, we decided to only consider people who had been a part of our lives as a couple, including family members. It’s easy to want to invite old college friends, colleagues, or others who you were close with in the past, but this is where your guest list can really spin out of control.

Meet the experts

How to Determine Who to Invite to Your Small Wedding

One of the best ways to determine who should make the list is to put anyone you’re considering for your wedding through the guest list test. This step-by-step process can make creating your list much more straightforward and clear. The beauty of using this method to decide who to invite is that you can customize it to suit your desires regarding the type of people who will make the list.

Create Your Guest List Test

Creating your own guest list test is easy! Before you start, you’ll want to sit down with your partner to discuss what’s important to you. This is different for everyone so just be true to yourselves and I promise the list will come together perfectly.

All you need is a pen and paper or an Excel or Google sheet to create your list.

Follow these steps to make your own test.

  1. Select 5-8 questions from the list below (or create your own)
  2. Write down your selected questions across the top of a piece of paper or on an Excel or Google sheet
  3. List everyone you’re considering for your wedding in the rows on the worksheet
  4. Go through each person and give them a checkmark for every question where the answer is ‘yes’

Questions to Ask

The questions on your guest list test can be anything! Just be sure to choose questions where a resulting ‘yes’ would rate the potential guest higher. For example, if you’re having an adults-only event, you’ll want to ask the question, “Are they an adult?” as opposed to “Are they a child?” Here are a few ideas for questions you could ask.

  • Do they support our love story?
  • Are they immediate family?
  • Are they extended family?
  • Have we seen them in 10 years?
  • Have we seen them in 5 years?
  • Have we seen them in 3 years?
  • Have they been in our lives since we’ve been together?
  • Do we see them regularly?
  • Do we enjoy spending time with them?
  • Would we take them out to dinner?
  • Are they fun?
  • Do we see them in our future?
  • Do we both know them?
  • Are they an adult?

If you’re having a destination wedding, you might consider:

  • Are they willing/able to travel?
  • Would they enjoy this location?

These questions can be about anything that’s important to you. Don’t hold back—it’s your day!

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Make Your Micro Wedding Guest List

Once you have scored all your potential guests, follow these steps to create your list. You’ll want to have a target number in mind before you start, so be sure to have that before you start these steps. Otherwise,. Otherwise, you’ll have a hard time finding where to cut off the list.

  1. Count the checkmarks for each person and write the total to the right of each name
  2. Create your final list by adding people with the highest scores down to the lowest until you reach your capacity.

Voila! You have your guest list!

Next Steps

Once you have this step complete, you’re ready to really get into planning your micro wedding.

  • Explore options for announcing your special day and keeping track of who you invited and RSVPs.
  • If you plan to create a wedding website and utilize their RSVP functionality, I recommend using Zola’s guest tracking tool. I recommend them for everything because they’re truly the leaders in WedTech. Check them out if you haven’t already.

Oh yeah, and because we get so many requests for help with this, we decided to create an automated tool to run you through all the steps above. Think printable worksheets and guest list Excel templates for some automation to make this even easier on you. It's already helped so many couples gain clarity. ​Grab yours here​!

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Author Bio
Jennie Swenson is a former micro wedding bride, and she now supports countless couples in planning their own intimate celebrations through her blog, featuring real micro wedding stories and a curated vendor directory. Her practical advice and firsthand experience make her a go-to resource for those seeking to create memorable and meaningful micro weddings.
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